Gaining Weight Can Be Healthy Sometimes
As long as your doctor has confirmed that no medical problem is interfering with your ability to healthy gain weight and you are consuming enough food to provide the energy (calories) you need for your body and your activities, your next concern should be that your diet is healthy and well-balanced.
A nutritionist could help you decide (your doctor can refer you) if your diet is adequate but I can give you a few tips with which to start.
First of all, make sure that you are following the recommendations of Canada's Food Guide; if you do, you will be consuming the different types of foods in the correct proportions and will be getting all the nutrients, vitamins and minerals you need.
Most doctors have one-page summaries of Canada's Food Guide. These summaries contain more details about serving sizes and other information than I can provide in the column. I can, however, give you a rough idea of what you need each day. During adolescence you need: * Milk and milk products (such as cheese, yogurt): three to four servings. * Meat, fish, poultry or "meat alternatives" (such as eggs, peanut butter and legumes - lentils, kidney beans, etc.): two servings. * Whole grain or enriched cereals and breads (including pasta and muffins): three to five servings. * Fruits and vegetables: Four to five servings, at least two of which should be vegetables. Avoid trying to get extra calories from sweets. Before you see the nutritionist (if you choose to do so), keep an accurate list of everything you eat, including approximate amounts of each, for three days. This will give him or her an idea of your eating patterns. Remember that each person has a different set point for his or her weight. Do people in your family tend to be thin? If you eat a balanced diet and are physically fit, you will be protecting your health and will probably feel (and look) well. It is quite obvious that your boyfriend's problem is entirely psychological. It could be that the act of sexual intercourse itself has some symbolic meaning to him that prevents him from ejaculating. Or, it could be due to faulty learning, an ingrained negative habit, which is aggravated under the pressure to perform. There are other possibilities, too, some as simple and mundane as the mechanical stimulation of the penis during intercourse. I am baffled by your lover's reluctance to seek professional help. It is covered by your provincial health insurance plan and it can be effective and successful in a fairly short period of time. The problem is that this difficulty does not look like it is going to go away on its own. It appears to be worsening, and may begin to affect other aspects of your otherwise excellent relationship. It seems a shame to me for you to avoid getting the readily available effective help. The solution will most likely involve both of you, so that your commitment to do something about your mutual problem will probably go a long way toward helping your boyfriend.
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